All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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