she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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