I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
