carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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