What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
