Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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