If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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