Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
