I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
