So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize