break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
