used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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