there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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