You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
