my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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