i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
