I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
