I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
