i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
