girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
