I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
