what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
