there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
