don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
