then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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