Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
