The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Couch. On fire.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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