STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
