Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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