The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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