so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
