It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
