I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
