I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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