After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
