When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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