check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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