Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
