we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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