I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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