I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
