I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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