At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
