True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
