I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize