I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
NoShamevember. You game?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
