We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
