Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize