I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
