Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
