We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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