so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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