Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
