I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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