We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
