Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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