I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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