Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
