I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
