glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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