apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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