Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
