god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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