How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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