paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
